If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. (NIV)

Ah, boundaries. I don’t know about you, but I really like boundaries when I’m putting them on other people. From personal space to time spent with those who drain me, boundaries can be so great! When others are putting boundaries on me, however, that’s not always my favorite.  

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When it comes to forgiveness, maybe you've heard the idea of having boundaries on what it means to forgive. Like, you can forgive a person, but that doesn’t mean you give them unrestricted access to your life, or it doesn’t necessarily mean the repercussions of their actions are removed. What an important distinction to make! I think we like that distinction, too, because it puts us in control. What’s harder to swallow, is when God gives ME boundaries, which he has done when it comes to what we expect to happen after we forgive.  

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See, God calls me to forgive, but there are things that go along with forgiveness that I mistakenly grasp for control over: Does the other person chose radical forgiveness too? Do they desire restored relationship? Do they like the subsequent relational boundaries I think will be healthy? Do they need more time to forgive than I do? So many variables exist in our expectations of what forgiveness will look like, and even as we are called to forgive, so we must surrender to God the relational aftermath and results.

In today’s passage, Paul identifies two ways we can surrender our expectations surrounding forgiveness of others to God. Romans 12:18 says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Even as he encourages us to seek relational peace, his caveat makes it clear that extending forgiveness doesn’t always result in restoration. He challenges believers in the body to do our part in pursuing peace, but the reality is that relationship is a two-way street. We don’t change, convict, or compel others to forgiveness – that work is only for the Holy Spirit!  

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Then, verse 19 says, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” We live in an era where justice is a buzzword, and we love a movie where the bad guy gets what’s coming! Man, praise God for the injustices he is righting through activism and the legal system! But in this verse, we see our God-given boundary line on revenge and even justice, be it social or just relational. We “leave room for God’s wrath” when we trust that HE is making all things right, not me. Might he use my work, my passions, or my voice to bring about justice? Yes! But as Micah 6:8 reminds us, we do not bring justice or exact it; we do justice or act justly. We are an instrument in the hands of the Almighty as he rights what is wrong in this world, but justice does not hang on our shoulders. We walk in forgiveness and trust God to bring the justice and, when appropriate, his righteous vengeance on evil.

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How can you trust God today with these aspects of forgiveness that are not yours to bear? The truth is that we do not always have the last word on how our relationships play out, even when we forgive as Christ calls us to. Truly, this is a good thing – thank God WE did not have the last word on how our relationship with God played out – Jesus did! And he chose full forgiveness and restoration! As we trust God to work on the hearts of others, regardless of how they respond, we can live at peace and walk in forgiveness because we have received radical, undeserved forgiveness from Christ first.

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Psalm 16:6 reminds us that “the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places.” Do you trust the boundaries God has put on you today? Do you trust the Holy Spirit to do the work of convicting and changing the hearts of others? Do you trust God as the righteous judge? As you walk in forgiveness today, surrender the rest of it – your expectations, the results, the restoration – to HIM alone.

Father God, I bow before you as the only One who holds this universe together. Teach me this week what you require of me in forgiveness and help me to surrender to you what is not mine to carry. I trust you! In Jesus’ name, amen.