“But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through generations.” (NIV)

This verse sounds so promising, so simple and so hope-inspiring that it should be stitched on a pillow. The implications for family appear clear: God has a plan for your family that is greater than you can imagine. I’m going to be honest; I don’t know if I actually believe that anymore. A little over a year ago, I would have agreed and nodded along with that statement without questioning it. Since then, that truth has been challenged by a few events, and I’m sure you have more than a few you could share, too.  

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First, my big brother was murdered by a man who should not have been on the streets. He gunned my brother down in cold blood over something absurdly mundane. In the following months, myself and my family struggled through the agonizing pain and shock that is all too familiar to those who have lost loved ones in such a sudden, violent fashion. I’ve watched the weight of it take a toll on family members, each trying to support each other while also struggling mightily on their own.  

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Second, my engagement ended suddenly a few months ago. This is after inviting guests, making venue deposits, and coordinating pre-marital counseling. I will spare you the details, but for a few months, I had allowed myself to believe that maybe my family’s time of deep mourning would give way to new beginnings. Maybe this was one of the ways God would choose to redeem what had happened in this small way.  

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That proved to be false.  

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Third, my younger brother ran for a political position this season, a position with which he could create change that would protect innocent people from men like my older brother’s murderer. This isn’t the place to talk politics, but after a spirited campaign and fighting a battle in which the odds were as stacked against him as possible, he lost by just a few points. Again, I allowed myself to believe that maybe God had a plan to redeem my older brother’s death in this small way, but that too proved to be false.  

So, does God have a plan for my family that is greater than the ones I have? What do you do when you want to believe something, but all the evidence seems to point to the opposite conclusion? I wish I could say with 100% certainty what I think. At this stage, I refuse to give a simple, pat answer that airbrushes over the pain and the struggles. The reality is that I don’t have the answers.  

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But, as a member of God’s family, I choose to have faith that God is working through this season, even when it doesn’t seem obvious. There is a bigger plan in which God will redeem the grief and loss, even if I cannot think of anything for which I would willingly pay such a high price. I know also that, in addition to being in God’s family, I am also a part of God’s army. As such, I am not required to like every battle that I’m thrown into, but I am obligated to fight. If you’re fighting today too, know you’re not in it alone.

God, we don’t know what your plans are. We pray for the faith to accept the things that don’t make sense and comfort for those experiencing what appears to be the opposite of what your Scriptures promise. Give us the strength to trust you today. Amen.