“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?” (ESV)

When I was about eight years old, I became friends with two other girls, and from that moment on, we were inseparable. Our parents called us the “Three Musketeers” and we did nearly everything together. “Friends for life,” I thought. We dreamed of the future, committing to be in each other's weddings and even planning to live close by once we were adults.

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Everything was great until we graduated high school, and the three of us went our separate ways, each to a different college. One of the friends and I still communicated regularly, but the other one suddenly ghosted me, barely ever responding to a text or phone call, and when she did reply it was always, “Sorry, I’m too busy.”

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It hurt. Eventually I discovered that she had only ever wanted to be friends with our other friend, and she was only friends with me because of how much time we both spent together with that other friend. I realized I had been a friend by default, and we were never true friends. The pain that ripped through my heart was more than I had ever experienced at that point in time.

Whenever I read the verses for today’s Scripture, or in Matthew 18 when Jesus said we should forgive seventy times seven, I would think, Ok, I’ll say out loud that I forgive her…but I don’t really want to in my heart. Because forgiving her didn’t mean that everything would be resolved, and we’d be friends again. It meant that what she did would be wiped clean, gone forever. I slowly realized that, in my sinful pride, I didn’t want forgiveness for her, I wanted vindication. She had become my “enemy,” and I didn’t want what was best for her at all.

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Friends, this is exactly what Jesus was talking about when he said to look at the plank in your own eye before you look at the speck in someone else’s (Matt. 7:3-5). I was so fixated on the hurt my friend had caused that I couldn’t see my own faults. I am broken, I am weak, and I hurt others too. It took me a long time to finally see that hanging on to the past was only weighing me down, and I wasn’t loving others like Jesus calls us to.

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How glorious it is, then, that Jesus’ forgiveness covers ALL sin. We can categorize sin all day long, but ultimately, if it’s sin, it’s sin regardless of how “big” or “small.” The person who commits atrocious acts of violence but repents and believes in Jesus will be in heaven alongside a believer we would label as a “good person.” Praise the Lord for that!

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I would love to say that when I finally forgave my friend it fixed everything and our relationship is great, but that’s not what happened. We don’t have any kind of relationship, and I doubt she’ll ever be in my life again. If I think about the situation, I am still sad for what is gone and what will never be, but by choosing forgiveness over resentment I am finally able to see her as God sees her: as a beautiful creation dearly loved by the Lord.

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Where do you need to choose forgiveness today? Is there something that you’re hanging on to, not willing to lay it at the feet of Jesus? Live today as someone fully forgiven and beloved by our Savior. Could there be anything better than that?!

Lord, thank you for your forgiveness! You cover us with mercy, so when you look at us you see Jesus’ perfection and not our own failings. What a great gift that is! Help us to continue to forgive those who hurt us, just like you forgave us. Even when it’s hard to love, let your love pour out through us to show others who you are. We love you, Lord! Amen.