When John, who was in prison, heard about the deeds of the Messiah, he sent his disciples to ask him, “Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?"

In college, I had the opportunity to serve overseas in Kosovo. I was excited to serve on a team that would lead English classes for students wanting to learn and understand American culture. I got to Kosovo with only one leader who had been serving for years, and I was to take over her English group. Not knowing what I was doing, I entered a run-down classroom with not a student in sight. Nobody came. So, the next week I prepped and reached out to some girls from the school in attempt to make bracelets and start a girls’ club. After getting lost and being super late, only two girls showed up to my so-called club. And we could barely converse. This was not what I had in mind.

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I remember calling home, incredibly discouraged. I remember thinking, “I should come home, this is a mistake, I’m not doing ANYTHING of value here, etc., etc.,” I thought I was fulfilling the will of the Lord, bound to share the gospel and make disciples. Why wasn’t this happening!?

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I imagine John had similar doubts about his mission. He had knowledge of the Scriptures; he had seen the physical and spiritual realms combine as he witnessed God’s Spirit descend on Jesus. He actually heard the voice of the Lord saying, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased” (Matthew 3:17)! John had a lot of evidence and proof that the Messiah had arrived. And yet, John had questions.

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This guy gets Jesus. He gets his purpose, his ministry, and his own position to point people to Jesus. He’s faithful, fearless, and doesn’t waiver in his obedience to God. Now here we have, in Scripture, John sitting in jail for confronting the sin of King Herod. I wonder how long he sat, alone and feeling useless. I wonder if he was wishing he was out baptizing, still declaring the Kingdom has come! He still had so much more do to! And so, he sends his disciples to ask Jesus, as if to say, “Are you the real deal? When are you going to overthrow the Romans and establish your Kingdom here on Earth?” (my paraphrase).

John’s name actually means “God is gracious.” We see the graciousness of Jesus as he responds to John’s disciples. He doesn’t downplay or ignore their doubt; he graciously responds with, “Go back and report what you see: the blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor (Matthew 11:4-6).” Jesus addressed their spiritual knowledge and allowed them to connect the dots with what they heard and saw.

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I still don’t understand what the Lord was doing in the spiritual realm of my Kosovo mission trip. I remember having moments of loneliness and feeling like I was just stuck in a “jail.” I remember how hard and heavy it felt to simply pray. But just because I can’t understand the Lord’s plan this side of Heaven didn’t mean there wasn’t any purpose. I look at John the Baptist: he was beheaded before Christ’s crucifixion and resurrection. He wasn’t able to witness the establishment of Jesus’ Kingdom through the power of his victory over sin and the promise and hope of the Holy Spirit guaranteeing our place in Heaven as his children.

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What do your moments of doubt look like? Do you turn to God in prayer in those moments? Or do your doubts keep you from praying? Do you doubt in your own abilities, feeling stuck in a “jail?” Do you doubt God has the power and ability to fix a broken marriage, heal a sick loved one, or bring to life those who are dead in their sin?

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God is gracious with your questions. He knows you need reassurance. Like John, our sight is somewhat limited, our knowledge not fully understanding, and our ability useless without his power. But take heart! We are able to use our intellect to study the Scriptures and bring our prayers of doubt to a God who desires to show Himself to us.

Lord, I praise you that you are a gracious God, slow to anger and abounding in love. Thank you that we can use our intellect to question and dig deep. Thank you that when we have questions, you reassure us through the Holy Spirit. You are faithful and good, always at work. Help me to trust that you are bringing your Kingdom to Earth in situations that I may not see or understand this side of Heaven. Amen.