Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

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When I am weary and burdened, I check my schedule. What needs to go? Where can I pencil in more down time? I am wired to believe the perfect schedule will keep me efficient, effective, and happy. So, in my constant pursuit of perfection, and in a chronic state of burnout, I spend a lot of time checking my schedule, reworking it to make it work for me.

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Though there is wisdom in time management, some days I am at the mercy of my circumstances. Unexpected appointments pop up. Friends reach out for help. Snowstorms beget remote learning days. I shift into survival mode and operate on adrenaline. If I stop long enough to take a deep breath, I might pray for help. I might pray for rest. But, exhaling, I keep going, mentally drafting the ever-elusive “perfect” schedule.

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Day after day, I keep planning for that down time, for that ideal quiet time with Jesus. Surely that will fill my soul and cure my burnout.

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Day after day, always striving, never arriving. I give up on trying at all.

“Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace” (Matthew 11:29, MSG), Jesus says.

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Unforced rhythms of grace.

That phrase drifts through the day’s chaos, into my worn-out soul, and settles there.

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I realize I have been striving for perfection. Forcing it at all costs. My expectations of myself are far heavier than the real or perceived expectations of others, especially when it comes to my spiritual life. Jesus doesn’t need my version of perfection. He doesn’t need my version of ideal. He wants me. Just me. Just as I am and just as it is.

He wants us to walk with him and work with him through our daily obligations and schedules wrecked by the unexpected. He wants us to learn from him. He is gentleness, humility, and grace. He gives us what no well-balanced schedule - complete with ample down time - can give us: rest for our souls.

Lord Jesus, slowing down helps, but even that falls short of what you can do for my soul. Help me to drop my need for perfection, even in my relationship with you. Help me to draw near to you throughout my day, to learn from you and find the soul-rest I long for. In Jesus’ name, amen.