“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed – or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (NIV)

I saw a funny video this week that began with a husband coming through his own front door, and the caption said, “What my wife thinks guests will do when they come to our house.” In this particular one (I’ve since learned there are many like this), he enters the house and then asks to go to the bathroom. Instead of going to the guest bathroom he runs up the stairs and looks in the kids’ bedroom, and when the bed is unmade, he says, “See, I knew it.” Then, you see him looking in a kitchen cabinet for unorganized spices and finally under the couch for dust. The assumption in this video is that the wife has super high expectations of what should be accomplished before guests arrive, when in fact, no guests are ever looking that closely at our homes. Back in Jesus’ day, this video could have been made by Mary, teasing her sister Martha about what we have read were her high hospitality expectations.  

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However, I asked myself this week what was driving Martha, a Jewish woman, to serve as she did in this passage? The Bible tells us in Luke that she welcomed a very important teacher and leader into her home. The cultural expectation of the time would have dictated that certain things be in place for guests, just as we desire today. The Bible doesn’t tell us if they had any servants to help with the work, but I imagine there were rooms to be cleaned and food to be prepared. It must have been more than a one-person job because Martha asks Jesus to get Mary to help her. Martha often gets a bad rap for being too busy to sit with Jesus, but she was doing the good and holy work of hospitality.

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In the time of Jesus, and still today, hospitality was very important in the Jewish faith. There is a command in Jewish tradition called Hachnasat Orchim, also known as welcoming guests or bringing them into your home. Additionally, in the ancient rabbinical teachings (the Talmud), it says, “Hospitality is greater than receiving the Divine Presence.” I think this quote is meant to be encouraging; one Jewish organization explained it this way: “By welcoming guests into our homes, we are not only fulfilling a religious obligation but also bringing the presence of G-d into our lives.”  

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I find this so interesting because Martha was following the Jewish custom by receiving Jesus into her home, and according to the Message paraphrase, she was doing an amazing job at it: “Martha welcomed him and made him feel quite at home” (MSG). Whether her expectations for hospitality were standard for that time or so high that it might inspire a comedian to make a reel looking for baseboard dust, we will never know, but I think Martha was doing what she thought was good work.  

Certainly, there is merit in that work, but Mary wasn’t just inviting the Divine Presence, she was receiving it. As she sat at the feet of Jesus himself, no longer serving him food or making him comfortable in their home, she was resting in the Lord’s presence, not trying to earn favor or stack up good works. She put aside cultural expectations of hospitality at the time because she understood that all she needed to do was be in the presence of Jesus.

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Today, as believers in Jesus, we can connect with God’s presence at any time because we have God’s Spirit living inside us. We could miss acknowledging the presence of God through our hospitality if we are too busy making sure all the trashcans are emptied and the charcuterie board has enough cheese. We shouldn’t prioritize expectations of hospitality (from our culture or self-imposed) over connection with others, and especially over connection with God. If we zoom out further, this can be a reminder in all our good work in this world: studying, friendships, serving at church, parenting…We can miss the forest for the trees when we live to meet the expectations, rather than keeping the main thing the main: pleasing God.

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Whose expectations might be keeping you from resting in the presence of the Lord today?  

Heavenly Father, we know that in your goodness and wisdom, you designed rest to be a healthy and good part of our lives. As we do the good work to further your Kingdom, let us not forget to sit in your presence. Being with you is really the only thing we need. We confess that we get busy and put tasks and outcomes over relationships, especially our relationship with you. Help us to bring our focus back to what Mary prioritized: being with you, our Lord and Savior. In Jesus’ precious name we pray, Amen.