You deceived me, Lord, and I was deceived; you overpowered me and prevailed. I am ridiculed all day long; everyone mocks me. Whenever I speak, I cry out proclaiming violence and destruction. So the word of the Lord has brought me insult and reproach all day long.

What the heck, Lord?

Maybe it's inadvisable to talk to our Holy, Almighty God this way in prayer, but it was honest, and it's what I said. I had been so sure that the Lord was going to answer my prayer in a certain way. I felt as though he had told me so! I thought he was going to come through in the way that I wanted. I had been so sure.

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But it turned out differently. And all I could think to pray was what the heck? How could you leave me here, high and dry?

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Maybe in this moment I forgot my fear of the Lord. But, if I'm being my most honest, which I do always try to be with you guys, I think I'd say it again if I felt it. I think God can handle my hard emotions, and I’m confident he has enough grace to cover me in those real moments. As Hebrews 4:16 tells us, through Jesus we can "approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." I was in need of mercy and grace, to be sure, so I came to God honestly in prayer: a little hurt, a little mad, and really confused.

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And the good news I have for us today is that, if your heart has ever whispered this same kind of prayer too, friend, we're not alone! In fact, I believe Scripture teaches us that bringing honest prayers to God is absolutely acceptable and actually so, so good for our souls and our relationship with God.

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Because even the powerhouse faith guys of Scripture, like Jeremiah, uttered prayers just like my what the heck one. In fact, they didn't just utter them, they recorded them right alongside their mountain-top, courageous displays of faith. Which makes me wonder, could it be that our prayers littered with what sounds to our hearts like doubt are actually the prayers that exemplify profound faith? Because when God is safe enough to trust with our honest, messy prayers, we might be walking in a faith that is firmer than it feels.

This is what many of the writings of Jeremiah seem to reveal. In today's passage, he's just declared the Word of the Lord to the people, but it wasn't very positive, and he caught some major flack for it. Like, beaten and put in the stocks kind of flack (Jer. 20:2). Understandably, he's not doing great, and it's from this place that Jeremiah delivers what my Bible calls his "complaint." To me, this is his what the heck, God! He says, Lord, it's because of You that I am "ridiculed all day long." You tell me to speak, God, but you give me terrible messages to deliver! I feel like you've left me high and dry!

This man, who is often called the "weeping prophet," poor guy, was chosen by God to consistently be the bearer of bad news to the people, and then, he too had to endure the siege of Jerusalem and exile to Babylon. And yet, in the midst of Jeremiah's assignment, his prayers are characterized by two things that I want mine to be characterized by too...

In one hand he holds out brutally honest emotions to God. He speaks them out and holds them up to the light, expectant that God hears and cares. And in the other hand, Jeremiah holds up a grounded, confident, and unshakeable faith. In one breath he bemoans the weight of his assignment, and in the next he rehearses the truth he has staked his life on: "But the Lord is with me like a mighty warrior...Sing to the Lord! Give praise to the Lord! He rescues the life of the needy from the hands of the wicked" (vv. 11a, 13). It could seem paradoxical to pray praise in one breath and complaint in the next, but I think it's really just honest. And that actually, that is what God desires from us the most.

When we can finally believe that our prayers don't have to be poetic to be good, that they don't have to be polished to be potent, and that we can carry frustration, anger, and confusion in one hand and enduring faith, trust, and praise in the other, stretching them both out to God in prayer...we may find the same kind of unshakeable confidence in the Lord our God that Jeremiah had. After all, what builds a relationship better than honest conversation?

Father, we bring it all before you today. Messy and mixed, but always honest. We pray that these meditations of our whole hearts, even the dark corners that feel too improper to bring before you, would be pleasing in your sight, O God. In the blessed and holy name of Jesus, whose work on the cross made it so we can talk to you like this, we pray. Amen.