But many of the older priests, Levites, and other leaders who had seen the first temple wept aloud when they saw the new temple's foundation. The others, however, were shouting for joy. The joyful shouting and weeping mingled in a loud noise that could be heard far in the distance.

Have you walked through a season of your life where you felt both joy and sadness? I don't know about you, but I think many of us have been there; I know I have.

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In 2019, I felt the call to move to Alaska, and in 2020, I jumped at the opportunity, which just so happened to be during the COVID-19 pandemic. While joyfully embarking on the journey into the unknown, I simultaneously walked through an unexpected fracture within my family of origin which left me with feelings of immense loss and sadness. Ambivalent emotions reigned as I simultaneously sought to honor truth and love, all through the grace and joy of Christ.

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As I read Ezra 3:12-13, I wondered what "the joyful shouting and weeping mingled together" sounded like. I know what it feels like, but can you imagine the sound? In this passage, the Israelites, who had been exiled for seventy years, were finally allowed to return to the Promised Land. Here, they could begin rebuilding their temple that had been destroyed. After planning for months and gathering materials, the foundation was laid, and they celebrated the significant milestone with great joy and praise to God.

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Unfortunately, not everyone was happy about this. The older generation had seen the glory of the original temple. Seeing the new temple moved them so much that they were overwhelmed with such grief they wept in sorrow from the memory of the destruction of the old temple. Had these priests and leaders allowed grief to rule their hearts, they would have halted all the progress on the new temple. Their resistance to creating something new would have devastated the younger generations who longed to honor the Lord in this way. Their memories and desire to cling to what used to be would have prevented something new from beginning.

It really struck me that in the middle of a joyous moment of celebration, the people of the older generation wept for what used to be. The older generation had a vision of what the previous temple looked like and had different feelings than the new generation, who could not relate to their previous experiences. Some of our greatest joys can come from, or even be because of, our deepest pain. We always have the choice to continue rebuilding the temple for the glory of God or to let the enemy and the selfish desires we hold rule our hearts. But here's the good news: the enemy and the bad news of this word do not have the final say; only Jesus does!

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See, as I look back, even though I had been recently disconnected from my family of origin, I had two close friends who helped me transition 4,758 miles to my new home in Alaska; I wasn't alone. During this difficult and emotional time, my friends gathered around me and both mourned a loss but celebrated the joy we were embarking on together. Even deeper, a community of believers at ACF, who became my chosen family, really gave me the eyes to see that true joy does not depend on us or something we manufacture. Joy is fixing our eyes on the person of Jesus, God with us, and isn’t complete unless it's shared; no one is left out of experiencing the joy of our loving God.

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Having left my old life in the lower 48, I could relate to the older generation as I began a beautiful new journey here in Alaska: If I had allowed the grief to rule, it would have halted my progress on the joyful temple that God is growing in my heart for him and the assignment he has for me.

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It's okay to mourn changes and hardships in our lives. It's also okay to acknowledge and honor the hard, sticky, and heavy emotions in our day-to-day. As we move through this deeper life of joy, let's use this passage from Ezra as an encouragement to continue to look toward God in difficult times and lean on him as our ultimate source of constant, enduring joy. For me, it's walking in the joy that he hasn't left us; he is right beside us. Maybe for you it's sharing the small pockets of joy that you experience in your day-to-day life with a loved one, or someone you meet at the checkout line in the grocery store. What might that enduring joy look like in your life today?

Jesus, thank you for giving us hearts to feel and experience so many emotions. Our joy is found in you; you make us complete in you alone. Help me remember that the joy I pursue has little to do with the circumstances of my life but everything to do with the focus of my life. I invite you into all the spaces where I have tried to do life apart from you. Teach me to keep you at the center of all I do as I keep my eyes fixed on you. Amen.