While Ezra was praying and confessing, weeping and throwing himself down before the house of God, a large crowd of Israelites—men, women and children—gathered around him. They too wept bitterly. Then Shekaniah son of Jehiel, one of the descendants of Elam, said to Ezra, “We have been unfaithful to our God by marrying foreign women from the peoples around us. But in spite of this, there is still hope for Israel. Now let us make a covenant before our God to send away all these women and their children, in accordance with the counsel of my lord and of those who fear the commands of our God. Let it be done according to the Law. Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it.” (NIV)

Perhaps it’s been a little while since you studied Ezra in detail. It’s a “coming home” book that was historically combined with Nehemiah, telling the story of the Jewish people’s return from exile and the rebuilding of Jerusalem’s walls and temple. In the sixth century B.C., the Babylonians razed Jerusalem and deported some of the Jews (to include Daniel). Later, the Babylonians fell to the Persians, which, through some religious reforms, allowed conquered peoples to return to their homelands. Ezra and Nehemiah’s journeys to rebuild Jerusalem take place soon after Queen Esther’s story, in the middle of the fifth century B.C. If you’re a history buff and think that’s an oversimplification, apologies – it’s the SparkNotes version.

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Here, in chapter 10 of Ezra, we witness a season of pain. Ezra and his people have chosen to radically follow God and reject their sinful choices, specifically their decisions to marry foreign wives and open themselves up to false worship and idolatry. The public setting in verses 1-4 intensifies the drama, as the crowd watching Ezra throw himself to the ground in hysterics comes to understand that families are to be torn asunder. The entire group of returnees becomes a mass of bitter weeping.

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For the sake of today’s devotional, we’ll avoid diving deep into the specifics of the Torah’s rules on marriage, divorce, and foreign spouses. After all, we can take this passage as descriptive more than prescriptive with regards to our application. The big takeaway is that this event is very sad. Splitting up families is a difficult, lamentable, grievous thing. What’s notable is how the community responds in support of each other in this moment of grief.

How can we sacrificially participate in the joys and griefs of others?

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Participating in the joys of others is easy. We’ll happily attend a birthday party, a promotion, a wedding. But how do we respond when a friend loses a loved one, gets fired, or divorces?

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That’s tough. Maybe we’d rather not get involved. Maybe we think it would be awkward or that it’s none of our business. Ezra and his people came to a terribly difficult decision out in the open, in community, but we tend to keep our issues private.

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I’ll offer this: participating in a friend’s grief is a powerful thing. Drawing on experiences in the military, I’ll go a step further and say it can even be life-giving and life-preserving. Anyone can smile and pal around when things are going well; it’s when everything falls apart that you can differentiate yourself as a Christ-follower and BE THERE for someone.

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And there’s hope for introverts (like me) – you don’t even have to say anything. Just the act of giving up your time to sit and shoulder someone’s grief with them is a good start. Men, in particular, tend to isolate in bad situations. Just show up. Someone experiencing the worst day of their life will never forget the person who showed up and shared in their grief. It’s a powerful testimony.

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When Ezra was writhing on the ground in grief and agony, the entire community joined him in his grief, sharing in his pain. Because of this, he’s able to rise up and lead the returnees to eventually rebuild Jerusalem. They shared life together, the joys and the griefs. May we be a people who do the same.

Dear God, please ready me to participate in the joys and griefs of others. Help me be sensitive to opportunities to do so. Help me be outwardly focused and not obsessed with myself. I want to show your love and care to others – please give me your heart. Give me courage to be bold and not dissuaded by awkwardness or excuses. Help me to lean in and be Christ to someone today. Amen.