“‘Lord,’ I replied, ‘these people know that I went from one synagogue to another to imprison and beat those who believe in you. And when the blood of your martyr Stephen was shed, I stood there giving my approval and guarding the clothes of those who were killing him.’" (Acts 22:19-20, NIV)

Maybe you’ve heard the story of Jesus speaking to the woman at the well in John 4. It's a remarkable picture of Jesus going to the outcast, getting down in their "dirt" with them, and extending the hand of hope. One of the most powerful things to me about this story, though, is the woman's response to receiving this grace from Jesus. Overcome with joy, she drops the water jars she's been laboring over and runs into town to tell everyone about Jesus.  

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Now bear in mind, she's not just going to share exciting news with her friends and neighbors. This woman was a social pariah due to her rugged relational and sexual past and present. She didn't go to her people - she went to the people - all, any, everyone she could find - likely, regardless of how they'd previously looked at or treated her. That alone speaks to the heart-changing power of her encounter with Jesus.  

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But then, what's even more incredible to me is the way she chooses to deliver her message of good news. She doesn't say something vague to the effect of, Come, listen to this guy - he seems really great! She willingly and joyfully allows the veracity of her testimony to rest on a singular thing: her shame. She says, "Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did" (v. 29). As she goes to these people who have rejected, judged, and condemned her, she reminds them of all the sexual brokenness in her life as a reason to believe Jesus could save them too. After an encounter with Jesus, this woman's deepest shame actually becomes her testimony.

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And we see the same being true in Paul's life. As he stands before a crowd of his accusers, what does he choose to prove his testimony? Recounting a conversation with Jesus, he confesses before this great crowd, “‘Lord,’ I replied, ‘these people know that I went from one synagogue to another to imprison and beat those who believe in you. And when the blood of your martyr Stephen was shed, I stood there giving my approval and guarding the clothes of those who were killing him’" (Acts 22:19-20). Like the Samaritan woman, his greatest shame - persecuting and killing followers of Jesus - becomes his testimony.  

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No one interested in defending themselves would use their greatest shame as a witness. But neither Paul nor the woman had any need to defend their own actions. They allowed their shame to become the power-punch of their testimony because they knew they were covered. They had no need to self-protect anymore, because they had a Savior who had already done that work.  

Paul teaches this idea to the Corinthian church, as well. After listing a bunch of sinful lifestyles and practices, Paul reminds this church that their past shame does not define them anymore. He says, "And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God" (1 Cor. 6:11).  

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I wonder if this truth flashed through Paul's mind as he stood before this crowd in Acts 22. He knew he was already made right before God by the work of Jesus. And that freedom allowed him to turn his greatest shame into the most potent testimony to the power of God in his life that he had. He didn't choose the cool God moments - the prison doors opening, escaping stoning and angry mobs...he chose to share his shame. Friend, do we do the same?  

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Your greatest shame - have you ever allowed it to be part of your testimony? Have you trusted that Christ has covered it - even that - and allowed him to turn your shame into your testimony to his goodness, power, and grace? That is a hard ask, to be sure, and there's no way we could ever be brave enough to go there without the power of the Spirit of God working in and through us. So today I want to challenge us - myself included - and ask you to consider in prayer this morning: is your God big enough for that? Is the work finished enough? Is his grace full enough? Is his goodness true enough for your shame to actually become the words you share most boldly to point others toward the One who saved you from all that? Paul and this woman show us that sometimes the worst can point most powerfully to the goodness of our God, so ask Jesus for new courage in this today!

Jesus, we know you've already freed us from the power shame holds over us - but Lord, it's so hard sometimes to remember that! Lord, turn our shame into our testimony! Give us the courage and discernment to shed the chains of shame and speak boldly of your work in our lives. We trust ourselves fully to you alone, Jesus. Amen!