Then they prayed, “Lord, you know everyone’s heart. Show us which of these two you have chosen to take over this apostolic ministry, which Judas left to go where he belongs. (Acts 1: 24-25, NIV)

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Has God ever called you to an uncomfortable place? I’m guessing he has. If not, maybe start with this question today instead: Have you been listening?

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Of all the places God has asked me to go that have made me uncomfortable, though, I can’t think of a position much more awkward than replacing the guy who betrayed Jesus. On one hand, there’s really nowhere to go but up. On the other, talk about pressure to not drop the ball like your predecessor!

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It seems, though, that this is often how God chooses to work - by placing us in positions that stretch us. Perhaps he’s weeding out your ulterior motives. Perhaps he’s giving you the opportunity to rely on him in a new way. Whatever the heart issues God is using such a call to grow you in, I’m not sure any of us love taking on a calling that we feel under-equipped for.

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Matthias must’ve found himself in a similar boat when he was nominated to replace Judas among the Twelve apostles. I wonder what thoughts he wrestled with as he stepped into these simultaneously big and uncomfortable shoes? Truly, we don't know; we don’t hear of Matthias again in Scripture. This small moment of obedience is the only glimpse we get. And actually, I think that's really good. Here's why...

You see, obedience is underrated. Sometimes stepping into the place God’s calling you to is exciting or momentous, and that’s awesome when it is! But sometimes, it’s just not. Sometimes it’s hard, scary, or uncomfortable.

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I often like to think that my obedience to God’s call will move me along my own imagined trajectory, closer to dreams and plans and goals. And it might. But even when it does not, even when you don’t see the clear why behind the call, even when the only legacy your obedience brings is a couple mediocre lines in a far grander story, obedience is still worth it. Why? Because obedience draws us closer to the heart of God, even if it draws us away from what we expected or planned. Even when our circumstances are still challenging, a willing, obedient heart is a step toward God.

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We don’t get to see this play out in Matthias’ life; all we know is that he said yes to the call (v. 26). But this moment reminds me of the story of one who didn’t initially respond with such ready obedience: Jonah. When called to minister to the capital city of his people’s wicked enemy, Jonah said a hard no and ran in the opposite direction. Maybe you’ve been there before, too. Eventually though, he did obey God’s call. But here’s one thing I love about Jonah’s story: the ending isn’t anywhere near neat and tidy. After obeying he doesn’t have a miraculous change of heart or circumstance - he’s frustrated with God and depressed about the circumstance God has led him into. But here’s what Jonah misses in the moment: Even as his obedience led him somewhere he didn’t want to go, leaving him frustrated and angry, the book of Jonah ends with Jonah wrestling with God. Not running from God, not avoiding him, not assuming God’s mad at him - wrestling. Jonah is in it with God. Even in his anger, he’s engaging with the Lord. He is closer than before.

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I don’t know where God is calling you today. Maybe it feels like an easy yes, or maybe it feels pretty uncomfortable. If so, I hope you’ll remember today that obedience is truly underrated. Even when it doesn’t end up looking like we hope it will, obeying God’s call is an opportunity to draw closer to him. And even if your fists are clenched or your palms sweaty, closer to him is the best place you could ever choose to be.

Lord, will you draw me closer to you? I know that might be a dangerous prayer when it comes to my circumstances, God, but I trust you. When the call feels hard or scary or uncomfortable, will you strengthen me by your Spirit to give you my yes, trusting you with every step of my obedience. In Jesus’ name, amen!